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Friday, 25 September 2015

If I Could...

Iv'e been tagged by the lovely Laura, who blogs at My Life as a Mummy to take part in the 'If I Could' tag. Thanks Laura.

The idea is to answer the preset questions, daydreams allowed, and then tag other bloggers to take part (If they want to).

So here goes...
Imagine a Town where no one goes hungry...
If I could live anywhere... Oh I'm so glad day dreams are allowed... If I could live anywhere, (anywhere, any time, any dream) I would choose 'Walnut Grove'... Except I'd have Pa build me a proper oven, cause I'm buggered if I could bake like Ma bakes in a tiny little hole to the side of the fire place. Oh, and I'd be needing an inside loo... how Ma manages to poo in that tiny little outhouse in THAT skirt, is beyond me.

A little house on the Prairie...where all the skies are blue (In my dreams they're always blue). Where all the people (with the exception of Mrs & Nelly Olsen) are kind and compassionate, peace loving, neighbourly.

Imagine washing in the creak, watching Pa (preferably topless, Pa should always be topless!) working the fields. walking through fields to get the kids to school. Kids that skip, and tag, and ring-a-rose.
Imagine a town where no one goes hungry, because as poor as they are they can always, always, stretch the stew to one more!

I do :)

If I could have any home ...This is a tough one because I love the house I'm in now, it's been home for a long time, I've always felt safe here, it's familiar, it's beautiful... it's home!
The trouble is, it's not my house, and as our Landlord has spent the past year attempting to sell it from under us (though currently it's off the market temporarily until neighbouring building work is completed) it's no longer safe! .

On that note, if I could have any home other than my current one (or 'The Little House on the Prairie')... it would be secure, safe, preferably owned.
It would have disability adaptions, (including wheelchair access) for Littlie... and a private, south facing garden, with a pretty little shabby-chic Lady-shed, to write in.
Actually, while I'm still day dreaming... I wouldn't mind one of those DIY-SOS jobbies...not least because then I'd get to meet Little-Leci-Billy- ;o)

If I could have any garden... That's easy...the garden I have now. I'd love to pick it all up, worms and all, and take it with me. As it is, since every plant in the garden attached to the-house-that's-not-mine was payed for and planted by me, I will be digging up anything remotely dig-up-able, and taking it with me.

If I could have any garden... That's easy...the garden I have now.

If I could be on holiday right now... The reality is, fear prevents me from flying, it also prevents me from travelling (other than locally) in a car, and even if I could travel my budget wouldn't stretch to a holiday.

The dream is, Spain... I went to Spain (Marbella), for a week when I was eighteen, and would love to revisit.
Actually, I say a week... I fell in love with a gorgeous Spaniard and stayed put. Three months later I (and my broken heart) came home... Turned out Gorgeous-Spaniard wasn't mine to love, he had a wife and child in Lanzarote!

Despite the heartache (not to mention the shame), I still have such beautiful, and incredibly vivid memories of the places I visited, and the things I experienced whilst there.
Oh, how I'd love to walk those streets again - paddle those seas again - visit those cafes again - dunk those doughnuts again... "Un chocolate con churros por favor" :)

If I could have any job... Illness prevents me from working these days, but if I could work I'd go back to what I used to do before (and after, once they were old enough) I had children... caring for the elderly.
When I was a teenager my best friends Mum owned, lived in, and ran a home for the elderly, my friend and I worked Weekends as teenagers and went on to work there full time after leaving school, and then periodically after we both married and had children.
I loved every single minute of it... I'll never forget my ladies!

If I could have any talent... I don't need to think about this one, I'm reminded of my lack of talent in this area every day. I would LOVE to be able to sing.
I often sing along to music (I use the term loosely!) if I'm at home, but always mime anywhere else, even in Church; because there are no words to describe the unholy noise that comes out of my mouth when I sing out loud!

I've always been aware of my (tone-death-doesn't-cover-it) singing voice... I remember being as young as seven-ish and miming during assembly so that the other kids couldn't hear me, silently mouthing each word dramatically so as to appear believable if a teacher looked my way.
Turned out one teacher was looking my way; he picked me for the school choir... because, he said... I opened my mouth so beautifully when I sang. o_O
For the rest of that school year (wishing I was invisible, and still miming) I was sat at the front of the hall during assembly...with the rest of the choir!

If I could live one day again... - it would be the last day I saw my Dad.
My Dad lived a long way from me, and, as mentioned above, mental illness/fear prevents me from travelling. In February of this year (3 months before he died) my Dad, my always-there-and-if-he-wasn't-there-he-was-getting-there, Dad, came to me. Riddled with Cancer, barely able to stand, and in unimaginable pain, he came to me... he came to say goodbye.

We hugged lots, loved lots, talked as much as he could manage... goodbyes were left unspoken, neither of us able to say the words.

When he left, knowing how hard the moment was for him, I hugged him brave...like a grown up. The child inside was bawling, I didn't let her out.
He released my hold on him, kissed my head, and said "keep smiling babe", then he turned and walked down the garden path.

When he reached the gate he turned and looked straight at me, he held my gaze for only a moment before turning away again... in that moment I read my life time in his eyes... and I read his breaking heart, his I love you... his goodbye".

I didn't want to be brave anymore. I wanted to run down the path with the child's tears pouring down my face, throw myself into his arms, beg him to stay.

I stayed dry-eye-brave in the doorway until he'd disappeared through the gate. Then went into the toilet, stamped my feet like a child, and cried.

If I could live that day again... I'd run down the path!


If I could have any super power... Ooh, now then... can I have two?
Time travel would get me to 'the Walnut Grove' of the Ingalls's, but I've always quite fancied being Mary Poppins. If I were Mary Poppins... I could click my fingers and put the whole world to rights.

David Cameron...click...gone. George Osborne...click...gone. Iain Dunken Smith...
click, click, Dunky!
World peace...click...done. New home...click. Housework...click... *clicks fingers hopefully*.

I'm think I'm gonna go with Mary-Poppins-Power...
If I can jump into pictures, travel by brolly, and have tea on a ceiling, I reckon time travel will be a breeze...
Walnut Grove here I come... Just as soon as I've outed the Tories ;o)
If I Could...
Thank you for allowing me to share

God bless you and all those you love

Kimmie x

I tag the following people

Dear tagged... Please feel free to ignore the prompt if you are busy, or if  blog tags are not something you usually take part in.

Dear reader... Please do visit the bloggers in the above list if you have time. They are all fabulous bloggers...well worth reading :o) 

 

28 comments :

  1. Wonderful thoughts that make for a fine reading, thanks for sharing!

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  2. Lovely post and fotos, greeting from Belgium

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  3. Couldn't agree more with wanting to sing. I love singing to music on the radio while driving but my kids have banned me as I'm that bad!

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    1. Yes, I love to sing... I'm just so, so bad at it o_O

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  4. Everyone can sing. Some people just do it better than others. But don't let that stop you!

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    1. I imagine most people do it way better than me ;)

      Thanks for stopping by, Christy.

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  5. Oh sweetheart. What else can I say. Won't be able to pass on the tag, but glad you brought me here.

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  6. Beautiful, open, heartfelt post, Kimmie. Thank you for sharing your hopes, your dreams, your fears, your sadnesses and wishes. I cried when I read about your last day with your Dad. How many times we make a choice that seems right in the moment only to question it later. But it was right in the moment. Remember that. There was a reason you made that choice. In reality, you may not choose differently if you were able to again.
    Interesting you talk about mouthing the words and wishing you could sing. I wrote a post about that too, about my wishing that I could sing. A few of us had a great discussion about that. I wonder how much fear reduces our ability to sing. It would be interesting to find out if there is a connection.
    I'd love to fly with you under Mary Poppins' umbrella and set the world to rights. We would have a fun time, and oh what a world we would paint. :)
    Take care of yourself. I hope your home, your house and your garden work out in a way that meets your needs.

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    1. Thank you, Norah... such a thoughtful comment. I'll have to have a poke around your blog again and find the post you mention :)

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  7. Aww...Kimmie...If I had the ability, I'd make every one of these wishes and dreams come true for you..xx

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  8. Lovely post! I live a stone's throw from Marbella for part of the year. It's a wonderful place. I'm a London er who met a Spanish man from Córdoba, over 30 years ago and I'm still here! Thanks to Internet we can travel without planes, I don't like them either, but my love of travelling is stronger than my fear of flying, so I fly asap! I have fears and longings too, like you, but I'm satisfied with most of my life, as you are :) Thank you for sharing. It was lovely to read. 💝🌹💖

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    1. Thank you, Luccia... such a thoughtful comment. Yours is a lovely story... a stones throw from Marbella, how wonderful. I can see it all still, so clearly in my head. Have one of those churros & chocolate for me, will you ;)

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  9. Beautiful heartfelt writing kimmie hugs xxx

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    1. Thank you Sophie. I hope all is well with you and your lot :) x

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  10. I love these answers and thank you for tagging me. I need something to get me back into writing :)

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    1. Thanks Lizzi... you're welcome... I'm looking forward to your answers :) x

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  11. Fear of flying used to stop me from traveling too, then I had to travel for a job and even though I was terrified, and am still antsy about getting on a plane, I more-or-less conquered my fear. I have not been over an Ocean yet though but I would love to see the UK. Visiting from #blogsharelearn

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  12. I loved all of these - it's a shame you can't fly so you can fulfill that wish - but your dreams seem quite manageable and I would definitely want an inside loo too!

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    1. An inside loo is a must... I have awful spider-filled-childhood-memories of outside loos o_O

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  13. So lovely and heartfelt. Thank you for sharing all of your dreams...
    "my Dad, my always-there-and-if-he-wasn't-there-he-was-getting-there, Dad, came to me."

    Xx Dreaming is free. <3

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  14. Bawling over here after reading about your father. I miss my dad too. Hugs

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    1. Bless you, Jennifer. I wonder if it will ever get easier... it's been a year now since my Dad went away, and I still can't get my head around 'Gone'.

      I'm sorry for your own loss, my dear. *hugging you back*.

      Thanks so much for taking the time to read/comment x

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  15. I've never thought of Mary Poppins as a super hero - but I guess you're right!!!

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